Hoboken’s Yuppie-on-Yuppie Street Crime

YUPPIEST. CRIME. EVER.

YUPPIEST. CRIME. EVER.

New Jersey and street crime go together like gabagool and mutz, but thankfully the cleansing tide of gentrification will do its part to bring better people to our urban neighborhoods…

Right?

Wrong.

While we’ve seen worse, a recent act of lifestyle larceny goes beyond the garden variety.

According to their Facebook page, the Barsky Art Gallery has been raided not once but twice, by the same villain who… get this… pulls up in his f**king Volvo and steals shrubberies!!!

“Did you say shrubberies?”

On Wednesday, August 27 at 10:23 p.m., a car that looks to be a blue Volvo XC90 with a broken driver’s side door handle pulled up in front of Barsky’s 49 Harrison Street location. The driver got out and loaded two planters into the backseat of the Volvo. TWO DAYS LATER, on Friday, August 29 at 9:22 p.m., what appears to be the same vehicle returns and loads up the two remaining shrubberies—presumably in an effort to placate these guys:

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Brazen and baffling at the same time, this might go down in history as the yuppiest crime ever…

So, citizens of Hoboken—if you see something, say something.

If you know anyone with a Volvo… wait, scratch that—the suspect pool is too big there.

Should you happen to spot any recently redecorated verandas while hitting the cocktail party circuit this weekend, please contact the folks at Barsky.

If you hear some loose-lipped braggart talking smack at The Hunt about how he boosted a set of planters in Hoboken, don’t take things into your own hands and get all “street justice,” just contact the authorities.

Fools jackin’ shrubberies in their muthaf**kin’ Volvos… Thug Life—Hoboken.