In Hoboken, Sometimes “THIS” Happens…

That's a dogshit move, brah.

That’s a dogshit move, brah.


…”THIS” being an anagram for “SHIT.”

Let’s not sugarcoat the issue here, by calling it “poo” or “waste” or “dookie”—it’s shit, and it needs to be dealt with. So if shit makes you squeamish, read no further… because it’s about to get all shit-heavy up in here.

In fact, I could fill this space with a new article each week on dogshit in Hoboken, but it’ll never make a difference. Hell, the Hoboken Reporter already covered this shit last week, and it’s still a shitshow out there.

That’s because people who don’t pick up dogshit are just pathologically incapable of assimilating with general society. It’s not an “awareness” thing—it’s not like these people need to be told to pick up dogshit because they simply didn’t know any better.

This is a sickness. They have a problem, and they need help… they need an “intervention,” if you will.

This sign (above) posted on 8th & Washington is a good start. Passive aggressive can sometimes get the point across, but signs take too much time and effort. Fact is we already have signs in Hoboken to remind citizens to pick up their dogshit, and they’re obviously not working…

In her article, Caren Matzner dubbed one sign-maker “Hoboken’s dog poop vigilante”. Now vigilantism is something I can get behind…

Engage offenders—if you see someone not curbing their dog, call out their dogshit and make a scene if you have to. Don’t worry about offending them—you don’t want to be friends with these people anyway.

If you see someone calling out someone’s dogshit, join the fray. Shit-shame these people into fixing their shitty ways, so we can focus on other issues… like dickhead joggers.

Stay tuned for more exciting coverage of “This Week in Dogshit: Hoboken Edition.”

(*Editor’s note: Before anyone accuses me of dog-hating, I actually have a dog. Just like good cops hate bad cops for making all cops look bad, good dog owners need to lead the charge here…)