Can't We All Just Get A Lawn? - 221
Metro Newspapers-New York, Philadelphia, Boston
February 21, 2007
 

Argue about taxes and campaign reform all you want, but in what rational mind does the environment need to be such a divisive issue? Republicans, Democrats, executives, stockholders, capitalists, communists, Reaganites, Nader’s Raiders, men, women, cats, dogs, Yanks fans, Sox fans—we all have to live on this particular planet for the foreseeable future. Perhaps it’s in our collective best interest to keep it in decent working order.  

Sen. James Inhofe (R-Oklahoma) claims much of the talk regarding global climate change is done in an effort to generate ratings for The Weather Channel. I suppose he might also be willing to argue the unseasonable, record-high temperatures we saw in early January were little more than an extravagant marketing campaign by Paramount to plug the release of An Inconvenient Truth on DVD.

And who knows, maybe Inhofe is right. Or maybe scientists just get off on making people uneasy—like those killjoys in the 1950’s who said smoking was bad for you. But the lesson learned there is you might want to err on the side of caution, since there is a slight chance they could be dead on.

Unfortunately we the people don’t have the attention span to maintain a concerted effort. A slight cold snap and everyone laughs off global warming as they burn Styrofoam for warmth in their polar bearskin coats. Meanwhile editors at the news outlets deem any story about the environment to be “untimely,” though the only thing untimely about the issue is the potential collapse of ecosystems within our lifetime. I’d like future generations to enjoy a fresh snowfall in the winter or a fresh cut lawn in the summer, rather than floating around on boats in search of sustainable life systems. It’s scary enough Al Gore might be right about this stuff, imagine Kevin Costner going down in history as a prophet.

Whatever your political affiliation, just do your part and turn a few lights off, make an effort to recycle, plant some seeds, take mass transit, maybe even skip the “courtesy flush.” Hell, we’ve all got to make sacrifices.

Meanwhile, anyone debunking the “theory of climate change” needs to stop emitting carbon in the form of hot air. Call me a tree-hugger if you will, but I’d rather hug that tree now instead of cling to it for dear life next hurricane season as I try to ride out an apocalyptic Category 10. 

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