Hal Actually Wastes His Wages- 254
Hal Wastes His Wages
April 15, 2008

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back in the early days when I started writing this column, it actually had a concept…

The plan was to take the paltry tithe I'm given for this piece, spend it at a local establishment and simply document the experience. It was an uncomplicated idea that should have provided perpetual fodder for an interesting column week after week and everything was to run ever so smoothly. But alas, I've strayed from that concept somewhat over the years, instead taking critical potshots at moms, Bostonians, pigeons, the homeless, fantasy sports, celebrities, politicians and even my own fat arse. But from time to time I like to come back to basics and actually do my job.

Normally it takes a jolt of some sort--I'm at a restaurant where the food and service are so remarkably good that it's deservedly worthy of remark.

A week prior, my missus and her little coven went for a "girls' night out" dinner at 3Forty Grill (340 Sinatra Drive, Hoboken), thankfully leaving me free to do anything but. Nothing against 3Forty, I'd just rather not be caught in the cackling crossfire of some Spice Girlish estrogen fest when I could very well be couch-bound on my ever-expanding as I watch monkeys learning how to use weapons on Nature (has anyone else seen this?!?! It's some scary $#!+…). Nevertheless, when she realized she couldn't order everything at once, she waddled home DEMANDING that I take her to this venue in the near future so she could set her sights on the rest of the menu (in her defense, she was eating for two--more on that later…).

I'd been to 3Forty before for drinks but never eaten there. And I eat out all the time but never at 3Forty. No reason--it's just one of those things where I had circumstantially failed to ever go there for dinner. It's been there for years--hell, I even know the owner--but it just never dawned on me to go there for a meal.

Well, you can see where this is going, because it was absolutely phenomenal. From the lobster crepe to the salmon steak, the food was top notch. And for a notoriously miserable bartender like me to give kudos to the service speaks volumes. Our waitress was so engaging and attentive that she actually made me believe she cared--who knows, maybe she did… 

While 3Forty often has the stigma of being a bit clubby, even on a Saturday night the dining room's atmosphere is relatively non-obtrusive. Make no mistake, this is a great venue for any occasion--be it a romantic dinner, the folks are in town, or a night out with the whatevers. And despite being exceptional in everyway, it doesn't take too much of the cushion out of your back pocket--which is good, because you'll inevitably be headed back to check out the other entrees you almost got the first time.

THERE--I actually did a restaurant review. Granted, I couldn't do it without mocking my pregnant wife and fear-mongering armies of monkey warriors, but it's still nice to get back to basics…

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Christopher M. Halleron, freelance writer/bitter bartender, writes a biweekly humor column for The Hudson Current and websites in the New York Metro area. He spends a lot of his time either in front of or behind the bar in Hoboken, New Jersey where his tolerance for liquor grows stronger as his tolerance for society is eroded on a daily basis. Feel free to drop him a line at c_halleron@yahoo.com

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