Change the Experience, Experience the Change?
- 268
Hal Wastes His Wages
October 20, 2008
There’s this guy on my block—a real loudmouth, boorish knuckle-dragger who
represents everything that’s wrong with the sense of entitlement of the Hoboken
“B n’ R” (Born n’ Raised). The other day as I’m attempting to maneuver around
his pathetic mid-life crisis of a Japanese convertible parked in the crosswalk I
notice his McCain/Palin bumper sticker and I think to myself, “Well, that does
it.”
I’ve always maintained that John McCain was the best man for the job… eight
years ago. In 2000, I went to bed one night confident that McCain will be the
next President of the United States, only to wake up the next morning with
George W. Bush as my party's golden boy.
That’s right, MY party. Much to the shock of most acquaintances and to the
horror of my disenfranchised immigrant wife, I am a registered Republican. But
lately being a Republican has been a lot like being a Yankee fan—you still wear
the hat and you root for the team, but at heart you despise the leadership and
shake your head in disbelief at their every move. Cashman gets a 3-year contract
extension, and McCain signs the polarizing, inexperienced governor of Alaska as
his veep.
Yes, any frank discussion of this election would be void if it failed to
incorporate the topic of Sarah Palin, who has become 2008’s gay marriage— a
sideshow culture war that’s done nothing but divert the electorate from more
pressing matters (no offense to my gay readers, and personally I feel that
anyone with a passionate desire to experience the chronic tedium of married life
should be allowed to take a crack at it, but it’s just not as important to me as
armed conflict, economic chaos, environmental catastrophe and a dysfunctional
health care system). Should the worst happen, the prospect of her getting a
battlefield promotion is one that I dare not imagine. The world is too volatile
right now, and I don’t know if I can take that bet.
At the same time, when gambling with my nation’s future do I have the marbles to
go all in on a one-term junior senator from Illinois? And that’s just it—race,
creed, and whatever muck you want to rake are not the issue with me. Hell,
ironically the man facing the most prejudice is the old white man—how’s that for
racist, ageist bigotry?
So it comes down to experience, but then again I want change, and you can’t get
more of a change then to get someone with no experience, but the guy with
experience has always represented change, but recent experience with his party
has brought about this need for change in the first place…
Dizzying, I know. And that’s what will be going through my head when I shroud
myself in the election booth on November 4. Fact is I’m still up in the air,
though I truly feel for the first time in a long time Americans have the luxury
of two appealing and qualified candidates. One or the other has less than two
weeks to convince me he’s most worthy of my support.
Then I consider the Yanks have won 19 of their 26 World Series under a Democrat
(most recent ring under the GOP was Ike in ’56), my scheming Delilah of a wife
has threatened to withhold certain nuptial perks if I vote Republican, and I
can’t stand that B n’ R goon with the McCain sticker on his illegally parked
import.
So I see myself leaning one way on this…
*******************************************************
Christopher M. Halleron, freelance writer/bitter bartender, writes a biweekly
humor column for The Hudson Current and websites in the New York Metro area. He
spends a lot of his time either in front of or behind the bar in Hoboken, New
Jersey where his tolerance for liquor grows stronger as his tolerance for
society is eroded on a daily basis. Feel free to drop him a line at
c_halleron@yahoo.com
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