Hoboken is Taxing
- 269
Hal Wastes His Wages
November 3, 2008
Let me set the scene for you…
I’m standing on the stoop of my apartment partially shrouded by my neighbor’s
“FOR SALE” sign, which will likely remain there for the foreseeable future
considering the already volatile economic climate. My real estate agent wife is
exasperated because she now has to explain a potential deal-breaker to clients
in that their lease has a rider that may increase their rent due to Hoboken’s
47% municipal tax hike. As I’m wiping my brow in contemplative desperation,
considering our own immediate wince from the economic kick in the groin of a tax
bill, the esteemed mayor himself rolls down a street in his big shiny Range
Rover and offers a grin and a wave, mistaking the anxious flail of my arms in
the air for a gesture of salutation.
I’m often hesitant to peel into the rancid onion of local politics, worrying I
might come off like some ranting, cowardly half-wit who hides behind his avatar
while cluttering the local message boards on “hoboken5551212.com.” And more
often than not it’s wholly disheartening to delve into the ineptitude of your
self-serving neighbors writhing around the lowest rung of the political ladder.
Why don’t I attend city council meetings? The same reason I don’t attend
colonoscopies--because they’re painful to watch and they’re full of crap. But
now that the niggling clumsiness of our local leadership has resulted in a
direct hit to my back pocket, I’m sitting up and taking notice.
Yeah, yeah, yeah--it’s nobody’s fault. The mayor blames the city council. The
city council members blame the mayor and others on the council. But as it is
from Wall Street to Washington Street (overused but apt cliché…), there’s no
accountability and the burden shifts to the taxpayers while those in power
retain their comfort as the waste piles higher and higher. In the IMMEDIATE wake
of announcing the tax hike, Hoboken inexplicably strips and repaves its
perfectly functional roads. The Hoboken Housing Authority “Carpentry Division”
has its own vehicles, labeled as such. In spite of having separate Maintenance,
Parks & Public Property and Environmental Services Departments, the city still
sees the need to outsource its landscaping to a private contractor. And if you
want to look at who’s skimming off the top it would take more than the space I
have here in this column. Hell, even the embattled outgoing police chief gets
$150,000 “termination bonus” in addition to his annual $147,000 pension.
It’s ONE SQUARE MILE, for chrissake--how can it be that hard for these people to
manage? Hoboken covers the area of a small farm, a farm that produces a hell of
a lot of fruit. With the amount of money coming in from the existing tax base,
coupled with the extraordinary revenues from Hoboken’s spider web of a parking
utility, this farm shouldn’t need more fertilizer. But on this farm we have some
pigs, e-i-e-i-oh…
Of course it goes without saying that this tax hike couldn’t come at a worse
time, considering the sky is falling and we’re standing at the edge of economic
catastrophe. Add to that the fact that Business Week has Hoboken at No. 3 in its
list of “Towns That Could Be Hit Hardest by the Financial Crisis,” citing 23.33%
of our residents work in finance or real estate. So the idea is to further
burden a populace that is already under considerable financial strain with a 47%
tax increase? You can kiss 47% of my @$$ if you think I’m letting that fly.
Let me try to put this in terms the “powers that be” might understand… Imagine
walking out to your big shiny Range Rover to find someone has stolen all the
tires. As you stand there contemplating how to replace them, someone runs by and
smashes your windshield with a hammer right in front of you.
We’ll never get our hands on those bastards who stole the tires, but we know who
smashed our windshield.
Hoboken’s Mayoral Election and at-large City Council Elections are in May, 2009.
*******************************************************
Christopher M. Halleron, freelance writer/bitter bartender, writes a biweekly
humor column for The Hudson Current and websites in the New York Metro area. He
spends a lot of his time either in front of or behind the bar in Hoboken, New
Jersey where his tolerance for liquor grows stronger as his tolerance for
society is eroded on a daily basis. Feel free to drop him a line at
c_halleron@yahoo.com
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